I Own Ryan Cook So Bad

Remember all those "yo mama" jokes from the fourth grade? Classics like "Yo Mama's so stupid she sold her car for gas money." I'm bringing it back, but this time all the jokes are "I own Ryan Cook so bad," because let's face it, that's all I do. I provided a couple of samples, but feel free to submit your own jokes and use these on a regular basis in social situations to let everyone know how bad you own Ryan Cook. Chances are it's pretty bad.

I own Ryan Cook so bad I claim him as a dependent on my tax return

I own Ryan Cook so bad that when his computer boots up it asks for my password

I own Ryan Cook so bad that I was issued a U.S. patent on owning that shit

I own Ryan Cook so bad his mom pays me child support

I own Ryan Cook so bad people know I'm the butch and he's the bitch

I own Ryan Cook so bad I owe property tax on him

I own Ryan Cook so bad people ask how I circumvent anti-slavery laws

I own Ryan Cook so bad he calls in sick to cut my lawn

I own Ryan Cook so bad his birth certificate says "Property of William Bowen"

I own Ryan Cook so bad I have to check him at the airport

Here are the "I Own Ryan Cook" jokes you submitted, which probably don't own nearly as much as me.

Submitted by sam on 6/16/2008 2:48:17 PM: I own Ryan Cook so bad that I own you too

Submitted by Dr. Tom on 1/9/2007 4:01:46 PM: I own Ryan Cook so bad that I've got 3 sets of keys for his ass!

Submitted by Dennisin on 12/27/2006 11:39:42 AM: I own Ryan Cook so bad I collect rent off tenants living in his room.

Submitted by Pip on 11/6/2006 2:13:38 PM: I own Ryan Cook so bad that he askes me for a hall pass when leaving his room.

Submitted by Ryan Cook on 10/27/2006 1:42:47 PM: I own Ryan Cook so bad I have to cry myself to sleep every night.

Submitted by Pip on 10/24/2006 3:56:26 PM: I own Ryan Cook so bad his mom asked if I coudl be her son instead

Submitted by Pip on 10/24/2006 3:54:20 PM: I own Ryan Cook so bad he has to use cupons to eat dinner

Submitted by The one and only on 10/18/2006 10:53:15 AM: I own Ryan Cook so bad that I had to write my story on the front page because this space can't hold my ownage!!

Submitted by Correction on 10/17/2006 4:38:11 PM: I own Ryan Cook so bad Opinion**

Submitted by The Jorge on 10/17/2006 4:37:35 PM: I own Ryan Cook so bad that when he has an opion, it means that I gave it to him!!

Submitted by Michael Williams on 10/16/2006 6:54:46 PM: I own Ryan Cook so bad we made a football play called "Own Ryan Cook" and it works every time

I Own Ryan Cook

I own Ryan Cook so bad I made this web page